Eddy Stone and the Epic Holiday Mash-Up Page 15
“You know what?” said Eddy. “We’ve just battled a hundred hardened pirates, tangled with the maddest menace in all the ocean, seen off an evil sweet maker and escaped from being chained up in a dungeon. Oh, yes, and been this close to getting our heads bitten off by a huge smelly beast. So if that bit of fruit is the best you can do, bring it on.”
He stared straight at the boy. The boy dropped his gaze, and shrugged.
“Not bothered,” he mumbled. He tossed the pineapple into the waters of the harbour, and slouched away. “Come on,” he grunted to his companion.
But the other boy didn’t move.
“Nice boat,” he said to Eddy. “Did you really almost get your head bitten off?”
“I’ll tell you about it sometime,” said Eddy. “But right now I’ve got to find someone.”
His gran. He suddenly realized that she must have been worried sick wondering where he had gone. How long had they been away? Four days? Five? She had probably called the police. They would have been out searching for him. He was going to be in big trouble.
He pushed through the crowd, trying to spot her. And there she was.
He ran over.
“Gran! I’m so sorry!”
The old lady looked puzzled.
“Hello, Eddy. Have you come to visit? That’s nice.”
She has forgotten I was here, Eddy thought. She hasn’t missed me at all. He let out a huge sigh. There wasn’t going to be any trouble.
“Yes,” he said, “I’ve come to stay.”
But he hadn’t quite got away with it. His gran looked him up and down, and frowned.
“What on earth,” she asked sternly, “have you done with your socks?”
That summer was the busiest that Tidemark Bay had seen for years. Word of The Codcake and its fabulous haul brought tourists flocking. The owners of hotels and boarding houses rooted in the backs of cupboards to find their long-neglected No Vacancies signs. The fish and chip shops took on extra staff. A thousand tents bloomed in the hills above the harbour.
The Captain held court on board the ship. He got rid of his hammock, and spent a tiny fraction of the treasure on a very comfortable reclining armchair, which he placed just outside his cabin door. And there he would sit bouncing small children on his knee while thrilling crowds of visitors with stories of The Codcake’s fantastic adventures – some of which were almost true. Sometimes the children brought him storybooks to read, and helped him out with the hard words. And every night, he let off fireworks, which burst brightly above the town in very satisfying explosions.
The Crew turned her shop into a museum where she displayed some of the finest of the treasure, alongside her unique collection of antiques and curios. Visitors were especially amused by the copper jelly mould shaped like an octopus and the stuffed lobster dressed as a soldier. She also ran a competition to guess what a strange old machine was used for. The winner said it was for peeling potatoes. The prize was the strange old machine, which the Crew was frankly glad to see the back of.
The Penguin built a smart new restaurant on the site where Captain Cockle had once sold his Crunchy Codcakes. Here he served the freshest fish on the coast, and entertained the diners with his act. He had lots of customers, because the fish was delicious. And although his jokes weren’t very funny, and his dancing was quite clumsy, and you can live without hearing a selection of disco classics played on old-fashioned rubber car horns, everyone agreed that it’s not every day that you get to see a penguin wearing a particularly fetching diamond and sapphire tiara with matching earrings.
Eddy gave his gran more than enough of the treasure to fix up her cottage. She spent the enough on the repairs, and used the more than to open a new amusement arcade. She went there every day to watch tourists feed money into the one-armed bandits. She was never going to be short of cash again. And as her worries disappeared, so did the scattiness that had fuddled her brain.
Eddy gave another share of his treasure to his parents. Now they could afford to leave their busy jobs in the city, move to Tidemark Bay, and open the little business they had always dreamed of. The little business they had always dreamed of turned out to be one that made superhero fancy-dress outfits for pets – but nobody’s perfect.
Eddy spent the rest of the summer having a great time with his old friends from The Codcake, and his new friends from the town. All the local kids wanted to play with the boy who had sailed on a pirate ship, and had incredible adventures, and brought home amazing treasures. They didn’t call him “Oi! Cityboy Snotface!” any more. Or just “Oi!” for short. They called him “Eddy” or “Eddy Stone”. And sometimes, when they wanted to show off to people because he was their mate, they called him “the Eddy Stone”.
What shall we do with the seasick sailor
What shall we do with the seasick sailor
What shall we do with the seasick sailor
Early in the morning?
HUEY! And up it rises
GROOEY! And up it rises
SPEWEY! And up it rises
Early in the morning.
If he’s feeling queasy and he needs to retch up
Feed him something greasy that he’s sure to fetch up
Sausage, egg and bacon and a pint of ketchup
Early in the morning.
HUEY! And up it rises
GROOEY! And up it rises
SPEWEY! And up it rises
Early in the morning.
Empty out his tummy he’ll appreciate it
Cook a sardine curry – he won’t tolerate it
Wash it down with rum – and he’ll regurgitate it
Early in the morning.
HUEY! And up it rises
GROOEY! And up it rises
SPEWEY! And up it rises
Early in the morning.
Slop seaweed stew and custard in a rusty bucket
Make him swallow all of that revolting muck. It
Won’t take very long – then he’ll be sure to chuck it
Early in the morning.
HUEY! And up it rises
GROOEY! And up it rises
SPEWEY! And up it rises
Early in the morning.
Oh! The pirate life is thrilling
And the lads are bold and gruff
They do pillaging and stealing
And other rough tough stuff.
But a pirate can get thinking
And a pirate can get glum
For there’s more to life than fighting,
Treasure, yo ho ho and rum.
Nights grow lonely in my hammock
When the ocean wind blows cold
Like a ship without a cargo
I’ve got nothing in my hold.
I have heard the mermaids murmur
But a mermaid’s half a fish
And I want a girl with legs and not
A scaly tail to swish.
I’ve sung soft songs to the waters
On my heartstrings tunes I’ve played
But there’s no one in the seas except
Sardines to serenade.
From fair ladies I’ve been castaway
Adrift, alone, marooned.
But now Cupid’s shot an arrow
And my heart has been harpooned.
It’s with love for you he’s struck me
With that missile from his quiver
You have set my boat a-floating
And made all my timbers shiver.
Love has left me feeling groggy
By my poem be enticed
Let my woozy wooing win you
Like the mainbrace, let’s get spliced.
Let us knot our ropes together
I am useless on my own
Like a cannon with no powder
Like a skull with no crossbone.
Will you say you’ll be my sweetheart?
Will you end my misery?
It’s the tears of lonely sailors
That turn all the seas salty.
&
nbsp; WHEN EDDY DISCOVERS A BEDRAGGLED CAT IN HIS FRONT GARDEN, HIS RUBBISH WEEKEND TURNS INTO AN ALIEN ESCAPADE.
Shooting off into outer space with his cousin Milly, Eddy finds himself on an EPIC adventure that’s out of this world…
ISBN: 9781474903448
www.usborne.com/fiction
Simon Cherry is an experienced television producer, writer and director who worked in Melvyn Bragg’s Arts Department at ITV for almost twenty years. Simon lives in Surrey with his wife, two teenage sons and a ginger cat, and hopes that one day his shed might also turn into a sailing ship. Eddy Stone and the Epic Holiday Mash-up is Simon’s first book for children.
First published in the UK in 2016 by Usborne Publishing Ltd., Usborne House, 83-85 Saffron Hill, London EC1N 8RT, England. www.usborne.com
Text copyright © Simon Cherry, 2016
The right of Simon Cherry to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.
Illustrations copyright © Usborne Publishing Ltd., 2016
Illustrations by Francis Blake.
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A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ePub ISBN 978-1-4749-2697-3