Eddy Stone and the Alien Cat Attack Page 5

  It was dark on the other side of the doorway. There were no lights working in the room that they had entered, and just a few steps inside the gloom was so deep that they could barely see where they were going.

  “Over here!” It was Thursday’s voice. Eddy, Millie and Henry followed the sound and found him tucked behind what appeared to be a large cupboard. They crouched beside him, out of sight of the doorway.

  “So,” Thursday said quietly, “everybody who ends up here on the Malvalian Grand Control ship has a story. What’s yours?”

  “We were kidnapped by a Malvalian disguised as a cat and sent here to the zoo,” said Eddy.

  “Zoo?” said Thursday. “You mean the cages, right? That ain’t exactly a zoo. It’s more a laboratory. The Malvalians keep creatures in there while they study them. They need to work out how to take over their brains when they want to steal from their planets. So what have you guys got that they are so interested in?”

  “Just water,” said Eddy. “The Malvalians want to take it all.”

  “Water is not just water,” said Thursday. “It’s special. One of the most valuable substances in the universe. You got a lot of it?”

  “Oceans full,” said Eddy.

  “You gotta be kidding me. That’s gotta be worth…I can’t even imagine how much. No wonder the Malvalians want to take it. They will be able to sell it around the galaxy for gazillions. That’s what I can’t stand about them. They see something they want and they go out and grab it, no matter how many planets they ruin doing it.”

  “We’ve got to get a message back to our planet,” said Eddy. “To warn them.”

  “I want to go home,” said Millie. “It’s horrid here.”

  “We’ll see what we can do about that,” said Thursday. “Me and a few of my friends took jobs on this spaceship. Me, I’m in waste disposal. It gets me into all sorts of places. And it’s good cover for what we are really doing – which is whatever we can to stop the Malvalians’ plans. Somebody has to save the planets; stand up for the little guys – even when the little guys are squidgy tubeoids. No offence, you understand.”

  “Communication and translation systems restored.” It was Ethel’s voice.

  “She’s back,” Henry said happily.

  “If she’s turning back on, we need to get moving,” said Thursday. “Before all the lights come on and all the doors get locked shut again.”

  A sudden snuffling snort sounded alarmingly close.

  “On the other hand,” said Thursday, “waiting till that Fluffy Wuffy Cushion Bunny has gone would increase our chances of staying healthy.”

  Another snuffle. Nearer this time. And then steps. Thumping in their direction.

  “It must be right in the doorway,” Eddy whispered. “Everyone keep very quiet, and very still.” He took hold of Millie’s hand again and held it tight.

  And then he felt something wet. Something wet landing on his head and running slowly down the back of his neck. He reached up with his free hand to feel it and – URGGH. It was thick and sticky, like glue. More landed on the back of his hand. Whatever it was was dripping down on him. He wanted to get out of the way, but he didn’t dare move in case he made a noise.

  Heavy feet stomped just round the other side of the cupboard. There was a loud thump and crunch and a squeal of complaining metal. And then with a last snuffle and snort, the snuffling snorting thing trundled away.

  “Okay,” said Thursday. “Let’s give that thing time to get clear, and then we’ll be out of here. I know a guy who can help us. His place is not too far away. But we’ll have to dodge the security robots. By now they’ll be hunting for everything that escaped from the cages. I reckon we can make it without the robots spotting us just as long as it stays dark out there.”

  And then all the lights came back on.

  “Environmental systems restored,” said Ethel.

  “Typical,” said Henry. “Bang go our chances.”

  But nobody heard him.

  All they could hear was Millie.

  Looking up and screaming.

  “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!”

  Eddy looked up to see what Millie was screaming at. What he saw made him jump back.

  Tentacles. Dozens of them. Tangled orange tentacles dangling down like strands of limp seaweed and dripping thick slime. And above them an orange body like a beach ball, with two eyes on stalks staring blankly ahead. It was hanging on cords from the ceiling. And there were more of the creatures, a row of them stretching away across the room.

  “EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!” Millie continued.

  “Did she come with a volume switch?” said Thursday.

  Millie finally ran out of breath.

  “It’s okay,” said Thursday. “They’re safe. This must be a Malvalian body store. You know how you’ve got a Malvalian on your planet disguised as a – what did you call it? Cab?”

  “Cat,” said Eddy.

  “Yeah, that,” said Thursday. “Well, what they did is build a cat body, and then transfer the Malvalian agent’s brain into it. They keep the original Malvalian body here to put the brain back into when its owner comes home. Same with all the agents sent to different planets in different bodies. One of the bodies hanging here must be the Malvalian agent who is on your planet. Maybe even this one right above us. But don’t worry about them – with no brains they aren’t going to do anything to us.”

  “Except drip that goo,” said Eddy. “I’ve got it in my hair and all over my hands. And I can’t get it off.” He rubbed his hands together. “It’s like wearing a really icky pair of rubber gloves.”

  “We’ll sort that out later, kid,” said Thursday. “Right now we should get moving.” Scuttling forward on his ten legs, he led the way round the cupboard towards the doorway where they had entered the room. In front of them was what until recently had been a sturdy metal table, but was now a tangle of twisted wreckage.

  “Did the Fluffy Wuffy Cushion Bunny do that?” said Eddy.

  “Like I told you,” said Thursday, “big, stupid, clumsy and dange—”

  He was interrupted by a loud clang. A huge steel slab slid into place across the doorway, shutting them in.

  “Security restored.” It was Ethel’s voice. “All systems now fully operational again.”

  “Ethel,” said Henry. “Nice to hear you again. I was worried about you. Now open the door and let us out of here, will you?”

  “The Body Store is a restricted room,” said Ethel. “The door can only be opened by operatives ranked level eight and above. Your level is zero. Request denied.”

  “But that level eight security business is for getting into the room,” said Henry. “We want to get out. In fact, if we’re level zeros, we shouldn’t be in here at all. You need to make sure we leave, not lock us in. So come on, open up.”

  “Request denied,” Ethel repeated.

  “That’s just brilliant, isn’t it?” said Henry. “We escape from being locked up in the cage and end up being locked up in here. What’s the point of that? We were better off where we started. At least it was comfortable.”

  “Hey, look,” said Thursday. “There’s a big button on the wall next to the door. Maybe pressing that will get us out.” He walked over to the button and jabbed it with one of his legs.

  But nothing happened.

  This is not good, Eddy thought. If they couldn’t get out of here they had no chance of getting a message back to Earth, and even less of getting themselves home.

  “Come on!” Eddy said. “Open up!”

  “Level nine command received,” said Ethel.

  There was a swish as gentle as the sound the front-room curtains made whenever Eddy’s mum pushed them aside to check what the neighbours were up to. The huge metal door slid open.

  “Everybody out,” said Thursday.

  “Wait,” said Eddy. “If Ethel got a level nine command, that must mean that something level nine is heading this way and wants to get in. Probably something wi
th a lot of orange tentacles. Something that we need to avoid. Ethel – who gave you the command to open the door?”

  “You did,” said Ethel. “Analysis of mucus confirms your level nine status. Sir.”

  “What are mewkers?” said Millie.

  “Posh word for snot,” said Henry.

  “It must be this stuff that I’ve got all over my hands,” said Eddy. “That must be how the security system works. I suppose it makes sense – if you can change your body it’s no use looking at faces, or fingerprints.” He thought of the Malvalians’ orange tentacles. “Especially if you haven’t got any fingers.” And their big round orange heads. “Or much of a face… Well, that’s the first time I’ve ever used snot to open a door.”

  He headed through the open doorway.

  And walked straight into a pair of robots.

  One robot was short and stocky, the other tall and thin with a spiky head. Several things about them struck Eddy. There was the way that they hovered a few inches from the ground and the glowing lights that pulsed in different colours around their bodies. But the thing that struck Eddy most of all was how they each swivelled a large gun in his direction.

  “Security! Halt!” The stocky robot’s voice was tinny and high-pitched. Not a sound that commanded immediate respect. But then you don’t need much of a voice to get people to do what you tell them if you are pointing a big gun.

  “Oh well,” said Henry. “So much for being free. It wasn’t really that great, though, was it? Just a lot of running away and getting locked in.”

  He held up his hands in surrender. Eddy did the same.

  Was this it? Were they going to be thrown back into the cage? Or worse?

  Eddy felt slime from his raised hands trickling slowly down his sleeves towards his elbows.

  Slime.

  Slime from the Malvalian’s tentacles. The level nine Malvalian.

  It worked on Ethel. So maybe…

  He pushed his hands forward towards the robots.

  “Oh,” said Stocky. “Level nine. Apologies. Sir.”

  “We didn’t recognize you in that body, sir,” said Spiky. “Should have realized with you just coming out of the Body Store. Some sort of mission, is it, sir?”

  “Yes,” said Eddy. “But I can’t tell you about it. And first I’ve got to deal with these three creatures who escaped during the computer glitch. I’m just taking them back to – um – where they came from. Over there.” He wafted a hand in the general direction of somewhere else.

  “Is assistance required?” said Stocky. “We’re on round-up duty ourselves.”

  “I can manage on my own, thanks,” said Eddy. “They are not much trouble.”

  “Oh, go on,” said Spiky. “Let us help. Look, I’ve got this. It’s new.” He pushed a long probe out of the end of his arm and prodded Stocky with it. Electricity arced and crackled across Stocky’s chest. “It’s brilliant for getting things to go where you want them to.”

  “That really hurt,” said Stocky. “Just watch it, Mr Look At Me I’ve Got An Upgrade.” He swung an arm and bashed Spiky on the shoulder, leaving a dent in his metal skin.

  “Oi,” said Spiky. “Mind the new paint job. Anyway, you’re only jealous.” He prodded Stocky again.

  “Jealous!” said Stocky. “What have I got to be jealous about? You may have your new probe, but you still haven’t got anything half as cool as this.” A panel in his body opened, and a whirring circular saw slid out.

  “We’ll just be on our way now,” said Eddy, leaving plenty of room as he stepped around the two robots. Millie, Henry and Thursday followed him.

  Behind them they heard the two voices carry on.

  “Put it away,” said Spiky. “We’ve all seen it before and it’s boring.”

  “One more prod from you and we’ll see how boring it is,” said Stocky. The whirring got faster.

  “Ow!”

  “Ow!”

  They had made it, Eddy thought. Escaped from the Body Store. Escaped from the Security Robots. Of course, they were still on an alien ship in outer space with no idea how to get home or even send a warning, but at least they were making progress.

  “What are we doing now?” said Millie.

  “I made a call back there,” said Thursday, as they hurried away from the squabbling robots. “The guy I know. He’s expecting us.”

  “A call?” said Eddy. “How?” Thursday waggled his antennae.

  “You think these are just for decoration?”

  “This guy we’re seeing,” said Eddy. “Can he get us out of here?”

  “Kid, if he can’t,” said Thursday, “nobody can.”

  “That’s not exactly a yes, is it?” said Eddy. “What if the nobody part is right and we can’t get out of here. Then what will we do?”

  “I’m hungry,” said Millie, as Thursday steered the group away from the Malvalian Body Store. “And I want a drink,” she added, as they passed through an opening in the wall and into a wide corridor.

  “I’m sorry,” said Eddy. “You’ll just have to hang on for a bit. Right now we’re trying to get off this spaceship.”

  “And my legs are tired,” said Millie, as they tramped down the corridor. “Are we there yet?”

  “Nearly,” said Thursday, as they passed a long window that opened onto…

  “Ooh! What’s that?” said Millie.

  “That, kid, is a space dock,” said Thursday. “Where smaller spacecraft come in and out of this ship. It connects to the main traffic lanes that run through the place. And right next to it…” They reached a metal door set into the wall of the corridor. “We’re here.”

  “What is it?” said Millie.

  “It’s a cafe,” said Thursday. “The friend we’re meeting, he runs this place. It can get a little lively in here sometimes. So stick close to me, stay cool, and everything should be okay.”

  He pushed the door open.

  A sweet and sweaty smell hit their nostrils like a steaming compost heap. The air was filled with noisy chatter, and a jangle that sounded like someone was attacking a harp with a tin bucket while burping out a beat. Eddy guessed this must be some sort of galactic music.

  They stepped inside. The noise stopped dead. Unfortunately, the smell carried on.

  The room was packed with strange creatures large and small. Things that crawled and hopped and scuttled and slithered. Things furry, scaly, smooth and feathered, and one that looked like a giant marshmallow on legs.

  “What are they all doing on this spaceship?” said Eddy.

  “The work,” said Thursday. “They keep the space dock going. If there’s one thing Malvalians don’t like, it’s making an effort. They’ve got a saying – ‘If a job’s worth doing, don’t bother asking me.’”

  “I like it,” said Henry. “Very good advice. I’ll remember that one.”

  “Come with me,” said Thursday. There was a long bar counter on the far side of the room. He led the way towards it.

  Eyes followed them as they crossed the floor.

  “Okay. That’s just weird,” said Eddy.

  “Hey,” said Thursday. “That ain’t polite. Whoever owns those eyes, pick them up off the floor and put them away.”

  “Sorry,” a voice grunted. A hairy creature reached out two long arms, retrieved the eyes and stuck them back into its head.

  “And there’s my guy,” said Thursday, pointing to what appeared to be a large teddy bear standing behind the counter. “Hey! Boss!”

  “He’s cute,” said Millie. “Can I cuddle him?”

  “Don’t be fooled by appearances,” said Thursday. “He’s a vicious fighter. He needs to be to keep this place under control on a fun night.”

  “Listen up, everybody,” the Boss shouted. “These guys are my guests. And they are okay. So don’t give them any trouble, understood? Now come on, you’re here to enjoy yourselves.”

  There was a rumble of voices, and then the whole room let rip again.

  “I saved you a spa
ce,” said the Boss, pointing them to four empty stools at the end of the counter. They sat down between a giant green woodlouse and a pink jellyfish as big as a fridge.

  “Something to eat?” said the Boss. “On the house.”

  “Yes, please,” said Millie. “I’m starving.”

  “Got any pies?” said Henry.

  “Never heard of them,” said the Boss. “But we’ve some fresh sandworms. Delicious.”

  “Not for me,” said Henry. “Can’t stand foreign food.”

  “We don’t really eat worms,” said Eddy, trying to be polite.

  “I do,” said Millie. “My friend Sophie dared me and I did swallow nearly half a whole one. They taste much less horrid than spiders.”

  The Boss reached under the counter, pulled out a bowl and plonked it down in front of Millie. It smelled of vinegar and wet wellington boots.

  “One worms,” he said. “Enjoy.”

  They were fat and pale and looked quite like sausages. Until they started wriggling.

  “Oh,” said Millie. “I do like them, but I think I will save them for later, thank you.”

  “What’s happening?” Eddy asked Thursday. “I thought your friend was going to help us escape.”

  “Take it easy,” said Thursday. “It’s all a matter of timing.”

  Eddy looked round the room. Everywhere, strange alien creatures were dipping tentacles and fronds and pipes into bowls of squirming worms and bugs in jelly, squirting out digestive juices and sucking up the goodness. And from all of them wafted steamy stinks and a stew of smells.

  “I just remembered something,” said Millie. She fished in the folds of her pink princess dress, and pulled the something out. “Jammy toast. Left over from breakfast. Yesterday. Want a bite?”

  “After it has been in your pocket all day?” said Eddy. “No thanks.” I’d rather take my chances with the worms, he thought.

  “Okay,” said Millie. She crammed the slice into her mouth.

  “Oh, really,” the giant green woodlouse muttered. “That’s disgusting.”