Eddy Stone and the Alien Cat Attack Page 7

  Thursday scuttled across the podule on his ten legs and got to the doorway just in time to catch sight of the creature’s bulging behind as it shambled into the shadows among the trees.

  “Oh, no,” he said. “Please don’t tell me that was what I think it was.”

  “That depends,” said the podule, “on what it is that you are thinking of. There is an extremely good chance that you are wrong because, of all the millions of things you could have chosen to think of, only one of them is what it is.”

  “A Fluffy Wuffy Cushion Bunny,” said Thursday glumly.

  “Well, my!” said the podule. “Everyone is winning the guessing game today.”

  “The owner of the most dangerous backside in the galaxy,” said Thursday. “They don’t mean to be bad. They aren’t clever enough for that. They just like plonking down on things and squashing them.”

  “It was in the hold,” said the podule. “The security robots captured it after it escaped from its cage. We were just about to take it back when we got the call to head to the cafe.”

  “And now it’s crashing around on Earth,” said Eddy.

  “You did tell me to let everyone out,” said the podule.

  “I didn’t know that everyone included that,” said Eddy.

  Through the open podule door he heard the sound of thumping footsteps heading into the distance, followed by a crunching crackling noise as the Fluffy Wuffy Cushion Bunny’s broad behind flumped down, and a tall, thin bush suddenly began a new life as a short, wide bush.

  “We’ll have to worry about it later,” said Eddy. “There’s no time now. We’ve got a planet to save.”

  Eddy led the way out of the podule.

  “Hat on, please, Millie. It’s cold out here,” he said, as he pulled his own tinselly bobble hat over his head. “And stay here by the podule. Don’t wander off.”

  “Can I have a drink? I’m very thirsty,” said Millie. “And very hungry.”

  “You just need to wait a bit longer,” said Eddy.

  Thursday’s ten feet scuttled round the clearing as he took a look at his new surroundings.

  “So,” he said, “this is the planet we’re here to save.”

  “This is it,” said Henry. “Home.” He stood quietly among the trees, taking deep gulps of air. His breath turned into clouds of white vapour, lit by the low winter sun. “It has been a long time. All those years I was locked up. You know, I never thought I would see Earth again.”

  Henry kneeled down and ran his fingers across the woodland floor, stirring up a mixture of fallen leaves, pine needles and damp soil.

  “Oh – now my hands are all mucky,” he said. “I’d forgotten how grubby it is. And how wet. The knees of my trousers are soaked through.”

  “If the Malvalians get their way, it will soon all be dried out and dead,” said Eddy. “We need to warn someone.”

  He fished in his jacket pocket and pulled out his phone.

  “And now we’re back on Earth, we can,” he said. “If I can get a signal.”

  He took a dozen steps away from the podule, holding the phone up and checking its display. “Ah, that’s better.”

  “Who are you going to call?” said Thursday.

  “There’s a place you can ring that has a list of everybody’s phone numbers,” said Eddy. “I’m sure they’ll be able to tell me who I need to speak to.”

  He punched the buttons on his phone. His sticky fingers left smears of alien goo on the keyboard. There was a brief ring and…

  “Enquiries,” said a voice. “How can I help you?”

  “Hello? I need to speak to someone who is in charge.”

  “You’ll have to ring back in half an hour.” The voice crackled in his ear. “The supervisor’s on her lunch break.”

  “Not in charge of you,” Eddy explained. “In charge of the country.”

  “I need a name, please, caller.”

  “The government. The head of the army. Air traffic control. I don’t know,” said Eddy. “Who is the right person to warn when there’s an alien invasion and they are going to steal all the water?”

  “Alien invasion?” said the voice.

  “Yes,” said Eddy. “I’ve got to tell someone.”

  “Then you’ll be wanting the Alien Invasion Hotline,” said the voice. “I’ll just check the number.”

  “Really?” said Eddy. “There’s a hotline?”

  “No,” said the voice. “Of course there isn’t. I suppose this is one of those prank calls, isn’t it? Are you recording this? So you can play it out on some radio programme and make me sound stupid?”

  “No,” said Eddy.

  “Anyone else you would like me to look up while we’re at it?” said the voice. “Miss Anna Conder at the zoo? Or her friends Ken Guru and Ray Nosseros? Some people think those are funny, too.”

  “You don’t understand,” said Eddy.

  But the line went dead.

  “She hung up,” said Eddy.

  “Are you surprised?” said Henry. “Aliens pinching all the water. I mean, I think it sounds pretty unbelievable and I know it’s true.”

  “Emergency services,” said Eddy. “They’ll have to do something.” He punched the number pad again.

  “Emergency.” The phone at the other end had barely rung before the voice cut in. “Which service do you require?”

  “All of them,” said Eddy.

  “I can only connect you to one of them,” said the voice. “Please try to stay calm and tell me – what is the nature of your emergency?”

  “It’s a space alien,” said Eddy.

  “You should be ashamed of yourself, young man,” said the voice. “There are people ringing with real problems, and you come on and waste my time like this. Are your parents there—?”

  “Oh, forget it,” said Eddy, ending the call.

  “What is happening?” said Millie, wandering up to them.

  “They won’t listen,” said Eddy.

  “When people won’t listen to me,” said Millie, “I find it helps to roll around on the floor screaming and shouting. They soon change their mind.”

  “That won’t work this time,” said Eddy. “We’re going to have to find some evidence to show people. Maybe if we go into Tidemark Bay there will be something happening. Something we can photograph and then – wait a minute. What’s that in your hand?”

  “Nothing,” said Millie, putting her hands behind her back.

  “Show me,” said Eddy. She brought her hands out to the front again. Empty.

  “See,” she said. “Told you.”

  “You dropped this, kid,” said Thursday. He held up a white cylinder, the size of a small cup, with a metal lid on top.

  “Where did you get that?” said Eddy.

  “I found it,” said Millie. “In the back of the podule. I went to see if there were any more real live giant cuddlies in there but there were not. Only that.”

  “Well, well,” said Thursday, “this could be very helpful.”

  “Why,” said Eddy. “What is inside it?”

  “Not what,” said Thursday. “Who. You see these marks on the lid? They spell out the name Professor Blubblubblabblubblubblubblap. This is a hover vehicle for a Liquoid.”

  “A what?” said Eddy.

  “A Liquoid is a creature with a body that’s made entirely of clear fluid. They come from the liquid planet Ploop. These guys have the most brilliant scientific brains in the galaxy. That’s why the Malvalians kidnap them and force them to work on new ideas and inventions. I’ve met a couple of Liquoids before on the spaceship, and they hate the Malvalians for it. The Prof here must have been trying to hover out of the place when the computer systems were down, and got caught by the security robots. And my guess is he’ll be happy to help us.”

  He unscrewed the lid of the hover vehicle. “Hey, Professor…oh. It’s empty.”

  “I did not drink it,” said a familiar small voice. “But what would happen if somebody did?”

 
; “How are you feeling?” said Eddy.

  “My head is a bit wonky,” Millie answered.

  “I hope you aren’t going to be ill,” said Eddy. “Don’t you know you should never drink anything if you don’t know what it is?”

  “Or who it is,” said Thursday.

  “I told you I was very thirsty,” said Millie. “And it just tasted like water.”

  “It’s the Professor I feel sorry for,” said Thursday. “What a terrible way to go – swallowed by a tubeoid. Just revolting. No offence.”

  They had almost reached the sign in the road that marked the edge of the town of Tidemark Bay. A cold wind whipped drizzling rain into the faces of Eddy, Millie and Henry as they walked along the pavement. Thursday was keeping out of sight in the long grass at its edge. There was no point alarming the locals – not yet, anyway. Not until they had proof that an alien plot was taking place on their doorstep.

  With a whir of wheels and the tching! of a bell, a cyclist came towards them.

  “Lovely day!” he shouted as he passed them. “And everything nice and normal.”

  “You call this lovely?” Eddy shouted back. “It’s freezing and wet and horrible.” But the man had disappeared round the bend. “That was odd,” said Eddy. “And why did he say everything was nice and normal?”

  “Because everything is nice and normal,” said Henry. “And it’s a lovely day.”

  “Okay,” said Eddy. “Let’s stop here for a moment. Because that was double odd. One, because it’s not long since we were in the wood and you were complaining about how wet it was. And two, because that is just about the first time that I have ever heard you have a good word to say about anything. So what’s going on?”

  “I’m just saying,” said Henry.

  “I got a pretty good idea.” Thursday’s head popped up out of the long grass. “Hey, Henry – do you hear a voice in your head?”

  “Yes,” said Henry. “I mean, no. Everything’s nice and normal.”

  “It looks like your Malvalian cat has already got his operation up and running,” said Thursday. “They always work the same way. It’s a three-stage strategy – what we call the three Bs. Stage one – Imitate. Stage two – Hypnotize. Stage three – Steal.”

  “What do you mean, three Bs?” said Eddy. “There isn’t a single B in any of those words.”

  “So it doesn’t translate well,” said Thursday. “But the strategy works. First the Malvalian arrives in a body that looks like a creature from the target planet. In this case, a cat. That’s the Imitate. Then comes the Hypnotize. The Malvalian records a message on his communications interface, and his voice is transmitted straight into the brains of the local creatures. Everyone within range is completely taken over. Then the Malvalian gets them to do all the work that’s needed – building, digging, blowing things up, whatever. They just do what they are told without question, and think everything is fine. That’s what is happening in that town of yours.”

  “Has Henry been hypnotized?” said Eddy.

  “Not yet, kid,” said Thursday. “It takes a while for that to happen. But this is the really clever part. The Malvalian has to keep the whole plan secret from everyone who is just passing by. Anyone who only comes to visit the place, like that guy on the weird wheely thing we just saw going by, gets a message in their brain that it’s a lovely day and everything is normal. They forget whatever they have seen going on, and if anyone asks, that’s what they say – lovely and normal. That way, no one on the entire planet gets any idea that there’s something wrong until stage three. Steal.”

  “And by then it’s too late to stop them taking what they came for,” said Eddy.

  “Exactly,” said Thursday. “Luckily the voice doesn’t affect me.” He tapped his head with one of his front legs. “The thickest, shiniest skull in this quadrant of the galaxy. The beams just bounce off. But what beats me is why you two kids ain’t getting it?”

  “I don’t know. I can’t hear a voice at all. Wait a minute – I think I’ve got it,” said Eddy. “It must be our hats. My auntie knitted them. I noticed before that Millie couldn’t hear the cat’s voice when she had hers on.”

  “Show me,” said Thursday.

  Eddy bent down so he could see the bobble hat.

  “Aha!” said Thursday. “So, how come your auntie knows about signal disruption technology?”

  “About what?”

  “The shiny stuff,” said Thursday. “With the little fronds that break down the signal and make it harmless. Stop you being hypnotized.”

  “It’s tinsel,” said Eddy. “We put it on trees at this time of year.”

  “What’s the point of that?” said Thursday. “Who would try to hypnotize a tree?”

  “Lovely day,” said Henry. “Really normal.”

  “I need to get him away from here,” said Thursday. “If he stays long enough for the voice to take control of him, all the tinsel in the world won’t break the spell. I’d better not come into town anyway. If that Malvalian cat spots me, he’ll know something’s up. Me and Henry will meet you back at the podule. You do what you have to do – and good luck, kids.”

  It was then that they noticed the cats. Six of them, standing by the road sign, heads and tails held high and proud. Watching.

  “Thursday,” said Eddy, “those cats. It looks like they’re checking us out. Could they be more Malvalians in disguise?”

  “No. They only ever send one Malvalian down. It’s all they ever need. But the cats round here could be under mind control as well. So watch out for them. And remember – keep your hats on, if you don’t want to end up a mindless hypnotized slave.”

  “It’s a lovely day,” said Henry.

  “Yeah, yeah,” said Thursday. “Come on, pal. Let’s get out of here so you can clear your head.” He led Henry back in the direction of the podule.

  Millie smiled at the cats that were standing by the road sign.

  “Nice kitties,” she said. “Can I stroke them?”

  One by one, the cats drew back their lips and hissed, hackles raised.

  “Not nice kitties,” said Eddy.

  The biggest of the cats, a black and white tom, looked like he was scowling at them. This was partly because the markings of the fur on his face gave him that expression, and partly because he was scowling at them.

  “I don’t think they want us to go past,” said Eddy.

  The black and white tom sat back, raised a front paw, and unsheathed a set of pearly white claws.

  “Perhaps we need a password,” said Millie.

  “Cats don’t even use ordinary words,” said Eddy. “What sort of password could they have?”

  “Mew?” said Millie.

  “Hang on, though,” said Eddy, “maybe there is something we could try.”

  He took a couple of paces towards the cats. The black and white tom flexed his claws threateningly.

  “Lovely day,” said Eddy. The tom’s ears twitched. “And everything’s normal.”

  The tom sheathed his claws. The cats moved aside, making room for Eddy and Millie to pass between them.

  “So there was a password,” said Millie. “I was right, wasn’t I? Go on, say it! Say it!”

  “You were right,” Eddy admitted.

  “Thank you, I’m sure,” said Millie. “Lovely day!” And then her tummy gave a loud rumble. “I need something to eat,” she said. “Right now.”

  “Okay,” said Eddy. “We’ll head to my house. There’s bound to be some food. And we can pick up a few things while we’re there.”

  He hoped he would be able to leave Millie with her parents, as well. It would be a lot easier to try to save the world without her in tow.

  “Keep your eyes open on the way,” he added.

  “What are we looking for?”

  “I don’t know. Anything that isn’t normal. And probably isn’t lovely, either.”

  It was still the same Tidemark Bay. The same buildings. The same streets. The same noisy seagulls whe
eling through the same salty air. But as Eddy and Millie walked through the town, it felt like something was lacking – like drinking a glass of orange made with too much water and not enough squash.

  It was the people. No one quite looked them in the eye as they passed by. No one shouted or argued or complained. No one was flustered or frazzled or frantic. They all went about their business coolly, calmly and with barely a word. Even when a man stumbled over the kerb and dropped the crate of eggs that he was carrying smack onto his foot, breaking lots of shells and probably a couple of toes to go with them, all he did was pick up what was left of his load and say “Lovely day!” as he hopped off on his way.

  “It’s like everyone is half asleep,” said Eddy. Or half dead, he thought. But he didn’t say that to Millie.

  What Tidemark Bay didn’t lack were cats. Dozens of them, everywhere they looked. Perched on top of postboxes, strutting across the roof of the bus shelter, sharpening their claws on tree trunks, yowling at each other from the tops of parked cars, and generally looking like they owned the town. And all of them eyeing Eddy and Millie as they made their way along the street.

  “Will Mummy and Daddy be home?” said Millie, as they got near to Eddy’s house.

  “I hope so,” said Eddy. He didn’t tell her that he also hoped that her mum and dad wouldn’t turn out to be as dizzy and dopey as everyone else in town. If they were hypnotized, he wouldn’t be able to leave Millie with them, because he didn’t know whether they would look after her. He didn’t know whether they were going to give Millie the hugs and cuddles that she must be expecting either, and he was worried that she would be upset about that – so worried that he barely had time to think about how he would feel if his own parents were the same.

  BRRRP! said Millie’s stomach as they walked up the front path. BRRRUUUPP!

  “Are you alright?” said Eddy. “We need to keep an eye on you after you drank that Liquoid.”

  “I’m just hungry,” said Millie. “And so is my tummy.”